Active listening
The core of effective communication is active and empathetic listening. That's why active listening is the foundation upon which all of the other communication tools and techniques are built!
Watch this video to learn what exactly active listening is, how it differs from the listening we do every day and how it relates to dialogue.
To sum up, you can use EARS to remember different elements of active listening:
Active listening allows discussion participants to feel heard. The power of feeling like someone truly hears is vital for dialogue – or any other meaningful human communication. This makes active listening a tool that’s worth practising over and over again.
Practice!
Active listening is not easy.
There are external and internal challenges to using active listening effectively in communication.
External challenges can relate to technology (in online communication) or your surroundings. Internal challenges relate to your state of listening, thought processes, assumptions and perceptions.
Internal challenges are often the real challenge. As with any listening situation, there are temptations towards boredom and disinterest, as your mind starts to wander from the discussion.
In addition, it is hard to listen when a topic or opinion creates a strong emotional reaction in you.
Managing internal challenges
The way to work with these challenges to active listening is self-awareness: increasing self-awareness and identification of assumptions and perceptions can help you to see when you are not actively listening anymore.
Notice when your mind starts to wander, bring your attention back to the discussion and remind yourself to be curious about what is being said and why. This is also something you can practice!
Before the next session, try active listening in a conversation that
An important element of active listening is genuine curiosity. Being actively curious helps you to move the dialogue forward by trying to find out where the dialogue participants' views come from – and by doing that you are demonstrating the power of curiosity (and active listening) to the whole group.
Then think about a situation when you are not curious at all, but perhaps bored or not interested in the discussion you are in.
What situations like that can you identify? What happens to you then? Again, think about:
What happens in you: How is your body language? What happens to your attention, and how do you listen?
What are some concrete things you do when you are bored or not interested?
Notice when your mind wanders and bring it back to the conversation to continue to listen with the intention to understand.
Notice what assumptions, emotions, or thoughts might come up FOR YOU as you hear the three wishes and in the discussion in general. Also, notice the emotions present in your conversation partner as they share.
💪 If you want to challenge yourself, talk to someone you have previously had a difficult time listening to.